Spotted: B busted at Burger King

omg halloween

It might come as a complete surprise to anyone who has seen the Crazy in Love video, but Hov and I hate the word and concept of sexy. We also HATE Lady Gaga, despite whatever spark you think you saw in that short film we shot for Telephone (what does holding in vomit sound like?). Consequently, finding appropriate attire for this weekend is an absolute nightmare.

First we went to the Halloween HQ that Hov commissioned to open up right outside of her new downtown location. it was weird. On to Halloween Adventure.

The people who work here are really frightening (especially the girls that work in the stripper shoe department) and the whole place is horribly claustrophobic. As an aside, we did make a friend in the pancho section (I love panchos).

Anyway this is where we really got costume-reflexive. As EVERYONE should know, I'm a huge fan of dog costumes with people bodies attached to them (though I really hate those weimaraner fairy tales) and baby costumes with no feet holes. This year, ironically (also like telephone? is lady gaga ironic? I don't get it! those stupid shoes.) I have a new obsession: sexy occupational costumes.

They're cool because literally everything not sexy is not only made to be, but it's someone's job to think up pun-ny names for all of them (I love puns). Ex. the other night HOV and I sat down with stylist/mope-er in residence Henry and Christian Meininger, and mused about the possibility of sexy nuns and priests and as if by some form of divine providence, what costume do you think we found on our Halloween Adventure?

I want a sexy costume so bad this year. Like so bad, a cab driver specifically, but it's risky readers! What if people think I think I'm fooling them into thinking that it's not about the sexiness its about the cleverness of the occupation? Like, I was going to go for the other taxi driver costume but just dressing as a guy in a jacket was too subtle...I'm not going to spend all night explaining myself to you! It's too soon to be "a girl in a sexy occupational costume" itself for halloween. Do you see the distinction? I don't want to use the word meta, mostly because I'm not sure it's appropriate here, but...do you hate me as much as Lady Gaga yet?

Moral: We are on the look out for best sexy occupational costumes. Why don't guys wear these more often? Edward...plz?

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Update from the new HQ

Edward Chaffetz once said of Money Cash Hoes "Tres amusant. Maybe it'll keep me sane while at work. Don't let it die, keep the updates on the reg."
And look what we have done. It has been almost exactly a year since our last post and while the headquarters has unfortunately been dissolved, B & I have been listening to your requests:
"Matthew William Brown: Revive the blog! August 14 at 5:24pm" (duh, he had his own section)
Although we can no longer sit in 209, calc class, or a CAVA truck; skateboard or swing in Riverside, we have vowed to keep the headquarters alive via our love for Chris Kirkpatrick, Hov & B, JB, or just plain grantics.


So here is a little update from the not so HQ for our once faithful readers.

The moose has been relocated to what one could call a temporary headquarters



AVL is now dropping things all around Abu Dhabi however makes the occasional trip to NYC



MDubs lives around the corner and is about to start forgetting things again



B (who has been going by the name Laurenzo as of late) still does many things in a one piece



The C&B cuddle corner has welcomed some new members (shoutout to Louise)



And Chris Kirkpatrick, to who we owe everything, is still featured prominently in what some may consider one of the greatest music videos ever made (thank you Rose)

+ spot Chris in this article on Justin Timberlake...
The 25 Most Embarrassing Pictures of Justin Timberlake
Cute hair!!

Update from 209: Let's see how this goes

I, and pretty much everyone I know who reads this, frequents 209. To the point where this morning I was wondering what is the proper protocol for greeting people you see there every day, multiple times a day, and I think it might be a head nod once a day IF you happen to be looking up but unless you are sitting by each other maybe you should just go with the stare at my work move. (From now on see how well I practice what I here preach).

Anyway, I find that energy spent on others in there is best spent on those you don't know, who make being in the room a little more pleasant and/or gross.

I'm going to go with pleasant on this one.

This kid 1. has a flip phone (i WISH it was a RAZR hov, but on further inspection it wasn't) 2. got no work done 3. watched videos so loud but I (ME!?) didn't have the heart to tell him to turn it down 4. was drinking mtn dew 5. BURPED OUT LOUD AND LOOKED AT ME AND THE KID DRAWING STAR MAPS NEXT TO ME AND GOES "...sorry" 5. was a good sport when i proceeded to giggle so long and type so furiously about it that I myself had to apologize to him 6. Also he made fun of one of his bro's furry jacket which was a delightful interaction to watch.

It so happened this is the mundane thing he was doing at the time I was bold enough (thanks Rory) to be takin' pics (not all of us have a future in the CIA). Also, he kind of looks like Patrick Dempsey.

Spotted: Calculus Cutie

Some of you may have heard about this because it's all I've been talking about this week, but for those of you who haven't, hold onto your seat (and your lunch). SO I was sitting between these two strangers in my 25 person math class on Tuesday, minding my own business taking notes, when all of sudden, the boy next to me pulls out this little swiss army knife, unfolds these miniatures scissors and proceeds to CUT HIS NAILS. All over his notes, all over his desk, ALL UP IN MY FACE. While the professor is giving a lecture about calculus, while he is surrounded by people. So I give him this look like "no you didn't girlfriend" - but the boy does not flinch, and goes on to trim his cuticles. Next thing you know, he whips out these baby tweezers and lo and behold... begins to PLUCK OFF THE HAIRS THAT ARE ON HIS HAND. Absolutely not ok. By then I am full on glaring at the kid but getting no response so I just start to giggle uncontrollably/uncomfortably and the only thing I could think to do was take a few pictures to document this phenomenon..

The Utensil

The Plucking

The Gold-Mining

Finishing up the manicure

Update from the HQ: Last Night

SO last night was a good night for door-pictures. H^2 (Hov and Hen) swung by to pick me up at 1020 and in an occurance that was borderline beyond our control we were swept up by the ghost of friday nights long past and ended up in Cannon's ready to take some PIX (in true HOV and B fashion, 2 years later, we still neglect to look for DUH MOOSE the only reason we are friends in the first place). Also, you can't pull HOV away from a good deal on a cold pitcher of Miller Lite so that might have also played some role in our venture to 108th. Anyway, we get inside and let me tell you, Hen.was.mortified. So we stayed on task and met this lovely fellow, to whom HOV inquired "like, omg, what role do you play on the football team" which he correctly interpreted to mean, position, and we learned the answer was "center". sweet. So, a scene ensued that could only be likened to a make a wish kid meeting their favorite athlete (twinkling eyes and puffed up chests respectively), we got our pictures, and we were out.

giggle.giggle. NO the fun did not end there because, ugh oh, someone had just gotten back from a TOGA PARTY. Though the total lack of anyone else wearing a toga begs the question of whether he was really at a party of said theme at all. And in response to that question that was lingering in the air but never explicitly being stated yet implicitly was also responding the the aforementioned begging...he proclaimed "I'm THEE guy in the toga" followed by (this time in response to our explicit request) "yeah! sure you can have a picture."

On the way to Pinnacle we discussed what the female version of "thee guy in a toga" would be if we were to ever want to call that much attention to ourselves as "that guy" and eventually we concluded that it would just be a girl in a toga which was pretty anticlimactic given the name of the place we were about to go and also how excited we had been to solve that puzzle (sorry that i just made that punny connection). In pinnacle we learned that garlic can come in powder form and that HOV doesn't chew her chicken fingers (I'm keeping this super brief). Outside of Pinnacle, much to my surprise and to the surprise of people who actually know/are related to him, we found out Christian has a SWEET red honda motorcycle and i have to say, he and HOV make quite a pair on it. Really, when I look at the picture the first thing that comes to mind is a lyric from that song "Can't Deny It" by Fabolous f. Nate Dogg. Which is the note I will end this on.

"Ghetto fabolous, n** I ride til I die

Hollerin 1-8-7 when I ride through the stuy, fool.

[chorus]

Yall cant deny it, ima fuckin rider
You dont wanna fuck with me (yeah)
Got skills in the trunk with me (ok)

Switchin lanes, do a buck with me (thats right)"

- Fabolous, "Can't Deny it"

Stuff AVL Dropped: HOV

AVL must have been in my room last night tip-toein' around. I don't know how HE left her THERE or more impressively, how he kept her from gigglin' long enough to sneak out. Either way, 3am, found HOV on the floor behind my bed, kicking over my shoe racks.*one of the blog's first posts, "stuff AVL dropped: panties" is not to be confused with last night's exhibit of "stuff HOV dropped: pants"...before climbing into bed/onto me like the outbreak monkey we know her to be**

**she is also a dancer fyi